


Dance With Me

by The_Magic_Rat



Category: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Bullying, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-06
Updated: 2021-02-06
Packaged: 2021-03-18 05:54:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,592
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29238660
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Magic_Rat/pseuds/The_Magic_Rat
Summary: Crowley performs a dramatic entrance.
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 14
Kudos: 81





	Dance With Me

**Author's Note:**

> To learn more about Apache Dancing, go here - https://www.streetswing.com/histmain/z3aposh.htm

Good Omens - Dance With Me.

Author: The Magic Rat  
Rating: PG  
Pairings: Crowley/Aziraphale.  
Warnings: CW for bullies/harrassment.  
Word Count: 518

Website – Ex Libris: http://www.winter-wood.net/ex-libris/index.html  
Live Journal: http://delaese.livejournal.com/profile

Disclaimer: All Good Omens characters, places and situations are the property of Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett, and are used without permission and without intent of plagiarism or profit. Copyright for all stories and original characters is with the author, and may not be published, copied, distributed or archived without the author's prior written consent.

Summary: Crowley does a dramatic entrance.

Author’s notes: To learn more about Apache Dancing, go here - https://www.streetswing.com/histmain/z3aposh.htm

~*~*~*~*~*~

Crowley was sprawled on the elegant red and gold couch in his apartment, watching a movie, when he heard the door open. A quick sniff told him who had arrived, and he slowly drew himself into a slightly more upright position, leaving room on the couch for another butt. Moments later Aziraphale entered the room and seated himself beside Crowley. He was clearly not pleased with life at that moment.

"Well," said the angel. "That was fun."

The tone told Crowley that, whatever it was, it wasn't. He nuzzled up to Aziraphale.

"C'mon, tell the wiley ol' serpent all about it."

"I don't think I will be going to dance class anymore."

"Why not? You love dance class."

"I do but there is this man there, and he will not leave me alone!"

"Well you _are_ adorable."

"Thank you, my dear, but...I've asked him repeatedly to leave me alone, and he won't. I even confessed that I was involved in an exclusive relationship and he still will not go away, in fact it seemed to encourage him!"

"Yes some men like that, they see it as a challenge."

"Well he's taken all the fun out of the class. He's run off both my partners, so now I can't participate in the upcoming competition unless I dance with him. And I am not dancing with him. I'd rather kiss Gabriel on the lips."

Crowley looked up at Aziraphale. "Or you could kiss me."

Aziraphale did. Then said; "I'm dropping out of the competition."

"Oh angel... you've been looking forward to that!"

"Yes well I was looking forward to visiting the Library at Alexandria and that did not work out, either.” Aziraphale looked down at his hands folded in his lap. “I will just have to adjust to the disappointment.”

Crowley shifted his position on the couch, straddling Aziraphale's lap, draping his arms loosely around the angel's neck. 

"What if I danced with you?"

Aziraphale smiled, hearing Mother's voice in his mind. "At least demons dance. Not what you would call ' _good_ ' dancing..."

"We're doing a Parisian dance called ' _La Danse Apache_ '."

Crowley drew back slightly in surprise. "Apache Dancing doesn't seem your style."

"It's not, really, but my partners and I altered a few moves so that it was easily as dramatic, just a touch less violent. Our instructor has us expand our boundaries by trying things out of our comfort zone." He looked into the reflective lenses of Crowley's glasses, making sure to give him the full Angel Eyes. "Would you dance the male role?"

Crowley turned to goo. "If that makes you happy."

"It would. Thank you. You're so good to me, Crowley."

"How many classes until the competition?"

"Only two. That doesn't give you much time to learn the steps."

"No need to, I learned back in Paris when it was at its height. I was pretty damn good, too." Crowley smiled. "So relax."

They cuddled on the sofa, had a little wine, and watched a movie. It was one of Aziraphale's favourites; Megamind. Crowley wasn't quite sure what Aziraphale saw in it.

"It's silly," Crowley teased gently.

"It is, but it makes me happy! Look, this is my favourite part, when Megamind comes to save Roxanne. And the smile on her face! And his dramatic appearance, it makes me all warm."

"Oh it does?"

"Yes! Gives me shivers." He looked at Crowley. "I'll bet you could do a fantastic Dramatic Entrance."

"Yes, I suppose I could."

Aziraphale kissed his brow. "You're adorable."

"Oh I am," he grinned, then asked "so what do you think their kids would look like?"

"Assuming they could even have children, I mean really, they are two entirely different species."

"Like an angel and a demon?"

Aziraphale glanced at his husband and smiled, then turned off the TV. Megamind would still be there another day.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Aziraphale showed up to dance class properly attired in a long pale gold skirt, blouse with matching gold and white horizontal stripes, beret, and a red sash about his middle. His makeup was absolutely on point, and his teacher gasped in delight.

"Zira! You look fantastic! Do I dare assume you have found another partner?"

"Yes, my husband. He will be dancing with me."

"I can't wait to meet him!" Ruby Anderson stepped closer to adjust Aziraphale's sash. "How is your husband going to react to Ted Stevens bothering you?"

"It would be in Ted's best interests not to bother me, but I don't suppose that knowledge would do him any good."

"Probably not. Now for the big question - can your husband Apache Dance?"

"He says he can, though I suspect he will do a slightly more aggressive and swing-like version."

She nodded. "Okay, can't wait to check out his moves."

Aziraphale sighed and rolled his eyes as he heard a familiar voice.

"Zira, you look fantastic! Aw, you dressed pretty just for me, I'm so flattered. Come on, let's rehearse our winning routine."

The good thing about Ted Stevens was that he could actually dance. That was pretty much the only good thing about him.

"Thank you, no," said Aziraphale. "My husband will be joining me shortly. He's parking the Bentley."

Ted stepped back in a great show of surprise. "Oh the famous Mr. Crowley you have told me so much about! Well I hope he enjoys watching you dance with other men."

Aziraphale sighed. "Go away."

"No I wouldn't dream of it, I want to be here when you realize who the better man is."

"I know who he is," said Aziraphale coldly. "And I married him."

"Well marriages can be disolved."

"And students can be expelled for their behaviour," growled Ruby. 

Aziraphale had a creepy feeling that being expelled would do nothing to make Ted back off. Too bad he wasn't following Gabriel around instead. Aziraphale could easily picture the archangel using one fast punch to put Ted through a wall. Aziraphale, however, had never been much of a boxer. Still, if he had to, he could definitely ruin Ted's day. He just preferred non-violent means. 

Was it getting cloudy in here?

Ted stepped closer to Aziraphale, clearly intending to either grab him or say something, when there was a veritable sonic boom of music, lasers, and fragrant black smoke. Aziraphale suddenly realized that Crowley was doing his "dramatic entrance.". 

"Oh good Heavens," mumbled Aziraphale.

'Welcome to the Jungle' boomed throughout the room, and Crowley matterialized out of the smoke, dressed to impress. He had on the appropriate attire, but Aziraphale doubted very much that the sort of men who engaged in Apache Dancing wore black and scarlet silk. He had a funny feeling that Crowley was highly displeased with Ted, which was confirmed by the way Crowley grabbed Ted's wrist and yanked him away from Aziraphale. Ted was suddenly nose to nose with gleaming black lenses and a smile with far too many teeth.

"Let's dance."

The angel watched, trying very hard not to take pleasure in Crowley giving Ted the Apache Dance of a lifetime. Crowley had indeed learned the dance, and he had learned it in the rough dockside drinking establishments from whence it came. Ted was thrown, dragged, shoved up against the wall, then flung across the floor. At one point Crowley brandished a huge knife that may well have been real, while Ted did his level best to get away from this lunatic. But there was no escape; Ted had wanted to dance, and now he was getting his wish. Just not the way he had wanted it.

The song ended, the smoke mysteriously faded away, and Ted fled for his life. He was completely unharmed, but Crowley had made it painfully clear exactly what would happen if he did not leave Aziraphale alone. Once his rival was seen off, Crowley turned to his angel and strutted proudly over to him, swaying like an Egyptian Cobra.

"Hello, angel," he said, coming nose to nose with his beloved.

"Hello, my dear. Did...Ted enjoy his dance lesson?"

Crowley glanced over his shoulder as a janitor dragged out a bucket of steamy hot water mixed with disinfectant and proceeded to deal with a number of small suspicious puddles. He looked back to Aziraphale.

"Thrilled the piss out of him."

"I see that. Crowley, dear, this is my dance teacher, Ruby."

"D'ya want me to give her a spin as well?"

"Please don't."

Crowley was clearly delighted with himself, Aziraphale could tell by the toothy grin. Smiling, Aziraphale gently took his hand. 

"Now, let's try it again, without bowie knife, this time. And with the appropriate music."

Crowley gave him a brief kiss. "Whatever your heart desires. So who shall win the battle? Will good triumph over evil, or shall good be seduced by darkness?"

"I think, just this once, mind," said Aziraphale, "we'll let darkness prevail."


End file.
